In the wilderness

Perhaps I deserve this. 

Actually there’s no perhaps about it. 

Let’s say it’s a definite. A certainty. 

I feel very alone right now. Quite scared. Quite frightened. Nowhere to turn. Friends, although I use the term loosely, have abandoned me. Or, at the very least, are unable or unwilling to defend me. 

And so I am here. Alone. In my wilderness. 

Convicted without trial. 

But yes, I probably deserve it. 

You see, I voted leave. 

I voted leave because I didn’t want closer integration with Europe, a European army, a European police force. I didn’t want decisions about defence being taken out of our hands. And I knew some people whose business ideas had been strangled by European directives. So I voted to leave. 

And now I’m a racist. Now I’m a bigot. 

It doesn’t matter that I’ve travelled in the Muslim world. It doesn’t matter I’ve travelled amongst Hindus and Sikhs and Buddhists. It doesn’t matter that I worked in a Jewish community in London. 

No. I’m a racist. 

The rise in attacks in immigrants that have occurred since the referendum are despicable, unwarranted and vile. Offenders should be locked up or sent to foreign countries for re-educating or a taste of their prisons. I condemn those attacks without hesitation. They are a stain on our society. 

But when I get called a racist and call upon my friends to condemn those attacks on me ?. 

No. No word I my defence. No willingness to condemn. Nothing. Avoidance. Complicity by silence. 

So. Because I made a choice. Because I voted. Or, because I voted in a way, in a democracy, so many find unpalatable and cannot see beyond blind racism. 

No friends. 

Might as well be dead. 

Here. In my wilderness. 

So let the grass grow over my weary body, let me lie here. 

Just let me die. 

3 thoughts on “In the wilderness

  1. In Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, when tied up and forced to listen to creatures from other planets recite bad poetry, Arthur Dent wishes he’d never been born. Then he thinks twice and decides he wishes the OTHERS had never been born.

    It’s a terrible time, all around, and I can relate to what you’re saying. I totally understand why some would want to vote Leave. I have had deep reservations about the EU since it started, and I know the Germany I loved in 1985 is no more, much as a result of this. There are always trade-offs, but I completely understand why Leave could work in the UK’s favor.

    The problem is — as it is here in the US, at the moment — it’s not about measured discussions of points, it’s about teams beating one another. Taking sides. Aligning with one side vs. the other, and then wanting only to beat the other side. Calling names. Attacking over generalizations. And nobody making the effort to see the other’s point of view.

    It’s unfortunate. Especially as politicians are the ones who engineered this, and as usual, it’s the everyday people who are suffering. Because of them.

    It’s not worth it. And it’s also not worth you sacrificing your life over. People can be stupid. Live your life, anyway.

    I, for one, would miss you if you were gone.


  2. I’m a remain voter and I’m upset about the result. But I do not think you should be demonised for the way you voted. You’ve thought about it and come to your conclusions which you genuinely believe were the best for our country . Your reasoning had no basis in hatred or racism and you should not be met with hate for it.

    I agree with Visual Vox that politics has become overly polarised and simplistic. The whole campaign was a disgrace on both sides with measured and informed debate sacrificed for social media friendly soundbites and blatant lies.

    People exist in social media bubbles where they only hear their own point of view and don’t try and understand the other side. Look at what’s happening to Jeremy Corbyn for trying to be reasoned in the campaign, see both sides and daring to say he was only 70% in favour of remaining. But he’s right, it’s not all black and white and we should all try to see the other side and find common ground if this country is to carry on being an open and tolerant place whether in or out of the EU.

    You and I probably wouldn’t agree on the EU. But we both agree that racism must not be tolerated in Britain and that’s more important for the future. HOPE not hate.

    Take care. This will pass.

    Liked by 1 person

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