Once more I’ve stepped away from Twitter. Stepped away in case I say something I later regret.
I’ve mixed feelings about doing so but, in all honesty, mixed feelings about social media itself and it’s benefit, or not, to me.
I used to use Facebook quite a lot but the shine quickly wore off that particular outlet and I post, perhaps, two or three times a year. It’s become an outlet for holiday snaps rather than a tool for interaction. I don’t find it user friendly nor particularly helpful.
I joined Twitter because everyone else was.
It has its occasional uses. The opportunity to interact with others, particularly those on the spectrum, but those interactions I have found, in the main, unfulfilling and occasionally quite scary.
I think that what I’ve found is, within the Autistic community, little cliques that form and I usually….always, find myself outside looking in.
I don’t know. I don’t know why I feel that way. Just what I observe. People grouping up, ganging up, cliquing up..
It’s all about establishing connections. I find that in the real world outside Twitter. Connections are based on mutual interests and yes, it’s quite had to establish connections around snakes and exotic travel. The latter is easier than the former to be sure but even so, very few people I know, travel outside Europe. I don’t feel connected to anyone on Twitter. I am unable to form attachments as much as I’d really like one or two people I could talk, really talk, to.
Much of social media is devoted to the causes, “cures”, awareness and acceptance of Autsm. My input here is very limited. Cleverer minds than mine deal with stuff like that. Much of what is written goes over my low functioning head. Personally speaking I think more people are now aware of Autism but accepting it, understanding how it affects us, how we see the world, is harder to get through. Even my partner of eight years struggles, at times, to get “it”.
I find Twitter frustrating. Sometimes I tweet because I’m hoping for a reaction and disappointed when none comes back. Sometimes I’d like support and don’t get any so that leaves me feeling isolated. Sometimes I tweet just to remind people I exist.
The downside to tweeting is the volume of tweets from people you follow that hit your timeline. I seem to start online conversations in the middle third. It can be hard to follow interactions and threads and who answered who. And then there’s retweets. Hundreds of them.
I try not to retweet much. I don’t follow celebrities as such and I don’t want their inane views or them telling me how to vote. I find that intrusive but people can retweet what they like so I can’t stop it. But it does affect me in a sensory way. It’s cluttered. It seems chaotic, disordered and I find myself feeling as though I am under attack.
Perhaps I’m overly sensitive.
But now, at this point in time, I’ve got to step away.
There’s an election looming. That’s not good for Autistic health at the best of times but this constant barrage of tweets and hate filled nonsense spewing forth is more than I can take. I’m tired of irrational tweets, tweets that expect the unrealistic, the illogical. I can’t cope with the extremes being rammed down my throat.
So I might say something I might regret.
Social media, at this point in time, is not good for my Autstic mental health.
I’ll see you around.