I’ve been off Twitter for a while and just posted my blogs but yesterday, in a terrible mistake, I read some tweets on my timeline and was immediately reminded of why it’s not safe to go back.
I seemed to have landed in the middle of a torrent of abuse aimed at white males (me) who are, apparently, all misogynistic and who spend their days making unwanted advances to women. Yes, that’s right all white men.
I was reminded of being called a misogynistic white male c**t a few months ago for the crime of disagreeing with someone over something so trivial that it barely deserves mentioning and here I was again watching tweets and retweets fly by.
And then I noticed that someone I trust, someone I thought I could trust, was busily retweeting this male hate with gleeful abandon.
So I presume they think that I too am a misogynistic male who makes unwanted advances on women!
Disappointed is too small a word.
Yes I’m a white male, yes I understand that I enjoy white male privilege but no, I am not a misogynist and no, I don’t make unwelcome advances towards women.
1. I work almost exclusively with women. On my section there are four ladies and me. My boss is a woman. My bosses boss is a woman. Apparently I’m extremely popular because of my helpful attitude and get it done approach.
2. I don’t think my partner would appreciate me making approaches towards other women. She’s been hurt enough thank you and I’m not the cheating type.
3. If I go out to socialise then my partner comes with me. We go out with two ladies from work. That’s three women and me. I prefer women over men. I’m proud of my partner and like having her close by.
4. I barely know how to approach a woman let alone in an unwelcome manner. I’m Autistic. I bumble about, I’m not sure what I’m doing, I’m awkward and dating was never a strong suit. If that comes across as being an unwelcome advance then I sincerely apologise but yeah, I’m not a natural at small talk or chatting anyone up. You can ask my partner as I don’t think it was my charm or dazzling wit that attracted me to her, rather a generous spirit and gentle, caring nature.
5. If you are talking about a male using sexually explicit language then telling him to “F**k off you c**t” does not give you the moral high ground. Two of those words could be termed sexually explicit and instead of blocking (although perhaps you did that) you’ve just entered into a war of words and are maintaining an undesirable relationship.
I feel really upset about this. I feel personally attacked and, due to the retweets, unsupported, demonised even, by someone I though I could trust.
I know there are bad people out there. I know there are misogynistic men, male chauvinists and women haters out there. I also know there are women who hate men (personally encountered that) but that is life. Yes I would like us all to get along, be friends, accept and celebrate our similarities and our differences but it won’t happen anytime soon and it won’t happen if people wildly generalise about a gender, race, creed, religion, belief system without think no it through first of all.
Twitter can be so toxic.
Stop it.
Please just stop it!
PiecesOfPatrick 
Hear, hear!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Itotally agree, and I feel you, my friend 💐💐 I’m biologically female, and this whole mindset (of theirs) sucks. Seriously, it’s the exact same type of hard-nosed, irrational fanaticism that brought us the Holocaust. The same singling out of one type of scapegoat, online this time, it’s based on ethnicity and orientation instead of ethnicity and religion.
I haven’t had much of a presence at all on Twitter in the past 4 (and a half?) months. I learned a few things since then…
The people who spew this vile crap are themselves extremely unstable, irrational, and unadjusted. As in, they’re not of sound mind.
Second, their life sucks, often partially due to decisions they themselves have made, and now they want to blame the rest of the world. They bully people they perceive as “privileged” because 1) they know you have more of a life than to sit and defend every snipe they make at you, which, if you’re not spending all day fighting back, it makes them feel like they’ve won, and 2) society doesn’t cut much of a break to those it sees as “privileged”. Most of the other people on Twitter who will see that rhetoric will probably agree with the irrational side, and most of the others who might have stood up to them have either left (at least, mostly) or they’re not even aware of this vitriol.
You’ve got a supporter here, friend. ❤️
Signed,
~a biracial non binary female who’s sick of their crap and glad to read posts like yours (although I’m really sorry for the circumstances💞) 💪🏼😎
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Thank you. I just ..well..words fail me lol. I don’t know how we can expect to get along when some people get so tribal about stuff.
They seem to delight in causing misery by brutally victimising those who disagree. They encourage this supporters to gang up and seem to have this constant need for support and bolstering as if their ego is so fragile it will shatter if they don’t get a thousand retweets.
I’d really love some rational discussions. Even tempered exchanges, good humoured exchanges, not all out war.
On another forum today I was called brain damaged and told to f**k my mother because I dared have an opinion. I just can’t understand why people say those things and seem to think it acceptable.
I felt alone as it was but being under this constant fear of attack is really harmful to my shattered self esteem and sense of self worth.
Life isn’t worth it.
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Omg for real? These vile people don’t make any logical sense whatsoever. It’s all lizard-brain-based emotion. I think I have an idea of who it is of which you speak. Ugh. I can’t even take them seriously. I have come to roll my eyes so hard they ache a little bit. I’m so sorry they tangled you up (or tried to) in their web of crap 💐😘💞
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They aren’t on Twitter. It was on a totally unconnected forum but one that also seems to be populated by deeply unpleasant people.
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Gotcha 💞. Oh no. I’m just stunned. Yet another group in yet another place. It really does seem like no place is safe and no topic is sacred. People really have lost all sense of decency – at least, some of them have. 💐💞.
Standing beside you, my friend. Seriously, I mean that 💓💜💓
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Thank you. I do wonder at the maturity of them. That’s the anonymity of the internet for you. They hide behind their keyboards and spew bile because they can’t indulge in sensibly argued discussions.
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Amen, much agreed 👏🏼😘. It’s such a double-edged sword; the internet gives many the freedom to be honest and be ourselves, to have courage, openness, and strength.
And it also gives people an invisible cloak behind which to hide and attack, in the spirit of cowardice and deception and secrecy.
I feel for you friend. I am always here for you. Please contact me any time. My window is always open. Hopefully (hope on your behalf), you’ll never need it. But if you do, it’s there. Always, and without question. Please know that you’re never truly alone in the world. 💓💓
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Ah but I always feel I am. In situations like this you feel very isolated as you can’t believe you are the only person who thinks that way. And then it turns out you are, or you are part of a very tiny minority. Common sense, reason, just plain decency, all things we seem to have abandoned in our breathless rush to be the best.
I challenged them about their perverse views but nobody actually comes back to apologise or explain their warped views. I don’t expect justification, they can’t do that.
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Agreed. Whenever someone gets attacked, it’s usually by vicious people of questionable motives, a tendency toward instability, and a penchant for drama. Their lives suck in one way or another, and they feel compelled to suck everyone else (especially genuine, nice, and bright people like yourself) into their sucky black hole/void. Misery is contagious and they’re Patient Zeroes, the carriers who want to spread it. It’s very tragic. They’ll never apologize because that would be to admit they’re wrong, and part of their irrationality is to believe that they’re always correct and can never be wrong. They’re driven by screwed up emotions and a desire for conflict, *not* logic and a desire for understanding, and part of their F-ed up package is that they’re convinced their opinion is the only valid one and they turn militantly against anyone who dare whisper differently. They’ll twist words, put words in peoples’ mouths, pervert peoples’ messages and meanings, the whole works. There’s no way to win with them except to keep remembering that they’re losers ❤ ❤
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