I seem to have become distracted…….by nothing.

Bad me.

Haven’t blogged in ages and yes, entirely my fault. Half a year gone and I feel as though no progress has been made. Anywhere.

Not strictly true that. I’ve been to the pain clinic twice and been lectured on nerves and pain sensors. I’ve also been given homework to do, dims and sims, which, whilst interesting in a “not really but has to be done way”, only shows up all the negatives swamping the positives in my life and helping to make me feel even more useless.

I have an MRI scan this Thursday so the specialist can check there are no secondary psychology issues with my permanent headache. He was pleasant although his nurse was absolutely vile, rude and made me feel very uncomfortable for the duration of our session.

Back with the CMHT. Passed from one organisation to the next, repeating myself over and over, trying to get myself heard. Intensely annoying and frustrating waiting for the right people and the right plan to come together. If it ever will. And yet more medication changes. The promise of potent side effects being quite delightful.

Work sucks. More changes, more uncertainty. Try to stand up for myself and seek logical answers but feel as though I’m the only person who actually cares. Think that’s called fighting a losing battle. Certainly feel even less motivated, if that was possible. Opportunities given to those already in positions of power and denied to the rest of us does not inspire a happy workforce. But only I care. Or so it seems.

No house move. No holiday. No. Just life, moving on, going nowhere.

I seem to have got distracted. Or complacent. Or lazy.


Will try harder. Will try not to leave it so long again.