Life is
Stark
In the dark
I am
I tried
I died
Against injustice I railed
Failed
Moments pass
I am
Lost
The cost
Has been
Too high
Is it time
To die
No hope
No hope
No more
Gone
Darkness comes
Numb
Lost
Nobody cares
Nobody dares
I am
Alone
Sinner
To atone
Too much has gone
Too long
I am
Wrong
In all my life
On track
Once
Now, derailed
It is
It has
Failed.
“Stop doing that!”
Words,
Harsh words,
“But why, it’s not hurting YOU”
Stimming
Is bad
Very bad
“You’re a grown man!. Stop it. It upsets ME!”
“But…”
That stare.
Sadness.
Guilt.
Minutes later..
“You’re a waste of space!”
Angry words
Harsh words..
Yesterday.
Today.
“Do you know what ? You’re useless!”
Words that hurt
Words that wound
Words that cannot be..
Unsaid.
Diminished in stature.
Self esteem, already nothing..
S
I
N
K
S
Bottomless pit
Mute
Say nothing
Scared
Fearful
Words from one who loves you ?
Yesterday.
Today.
Bad.
Bad me.
Bad days.
Do you, mind
Think ?
Well, do you ?
Do you mind, or care
About the body
You possess.
That vessel
Human form
Do you mind that you, mind
Are mindful of the one whose burden you carry
Do you think ?
In the darkened, gloomy recesses,
Neurones Fire,
Synapses snap,
Are you thinking, mind, of me ?
Are my terrors, fears and hurt,
There ?
Do they cross your mind ?
As they hurt me, torture me, reduce me
Are you, mind, mindful of that,
Of damage caused
Of life, shortened
What are you ?
Protector, influencer, emotional centre ?
Darker, deeper,
Traitor, betrayer
Enemy
Can I function with you ?
In my mind ?
Really ?
Do you mind, at all ?
Mind ?
Are you there ?
Well ?
Are you ?
Under skies so grey
I walk . Although walking, if it is to be described that way,
Is,
At its best,
Shuffled.
Slow, wind drops, rain
Just a few
Drops. Drip. Drip.
Upturned face to catch them
Between the grey lies blue
Then sun
That burst,
Warmth, soft, gentle
A hit
Can I dance between you ?
Skip merrily between the light
And the dark
Are you ?
Reflective of mood ?
Do I sway, in time betwixt ?
I pause.
I know not who I am.
For I am.
Lost.
Crossroads neath a sky so varied.
Patchwork quilt cross heavens vault.
Yet live.
In hell.
Beneath.
I cannot rise for I have no strength.
Tis sapped.
Gone.
In pain consumed.
I cannot rise above.
I am,
Forever,
Under.
PiecesOfPatrick 