In the night

The night, 

Still. 

I lie awake, 

Breathing next to me, 

Sleep, 

Elusive creature, 

Frustrates me at each turn, 

Pain, 

Body wracked by pain, 

I writhe and twist, 

I turn, 

Unable to find, 

Comfort. 

Dark dreams haunt my waking visions, 

Nightmares haunt my fractured snippets of sleep, 

Awake or Asleep,

Which is better ?. 

Time, 

The passage of time, 

Slowed, 

Creeping, 

Under my watchful eye, 

It seems to go, 

Backwards, 

Tormenting me, 

Cursing me, 

Condemning me, 

Laughing, 

At my pain, 

Driving me out, 

Like a demon, 

To chase more demons, 

In my mind. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not my choice

Being sad is not my choice, 

Depressions not my thing, 

Anxiety is not my love, 

Panics not my king. 

Suicide is not my choice, 

Those darkest thoughts of mine, 

But the narrow path I wander, 

Is now the thinnest line. 

The crumbling of the cliff face, 

Eroding with each day, 

Standing on the very edge, 

When will I give way ?. 

I teeter on the high wire, 

No safety net below, 

No beam to keep my balance, 

So will I stay or go ?. 

A bridge of lies supports me, 

A life without true worth, 

A mind, confused and desperate, 

Where scary thoughts give birth, 

A body bruised and broken, 

A mind, in turmoil, screams, 

Haunted by my failures, 

Hunted in my dreams, 

My life is just an aimless thing, 

A drifting, shallow piece, 

A pointless, bland existence, 

That ponders its release, 

So if I should move on from here, 

Let not you judge too cruel, 

For I had not the strength for this, 

I was but a poor lost fool, 

Know that I did try my best, 

But to no avail, 

I loved but couldn’t show it, 

Another sorry tale, 

I don’t know where my future lies, 

Or if I’ve one at all, 

I’m hoping someone saves me, 

Before I take my fall. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Passing through

The grey, 

Unsettling, 

Closes in. 

Leaves dance the final dance of Summer, 

Brown limbs twirling, 

Green finery turning gold. 

All shades, 

Brown and Green, 

Orange and Red, 

All into one, 

Carpet the ground, 

Sky darkens, 

Night become chill, 

Stars high above, 

A sky so clear, 

Heavens vault in all its glory. 

Seasons change, 

Time, my enemy, 

The passage of my life, 

Each stage, dictated, 

By the world around, 

I am but an insignificant speck, 

On my journey, 

Through a life, 

Coloured by sun, rain and snow, 

The rainbow, 

The myriad of colours, 

Casting their coloured shadows, 

Across my path, 

As I head, 

Towards, 

The beckoning light. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving Twitter

 

The morale of this story, 

And morale is the word, 

Is that mine is sinking, 

As I’m sure you’ve heard. 

I’m tired of all the lunacy, 

The blinkered, lazy views, 

The sheep that simply follow, 

The ones that cannot choose, 

The simple act of thinking, 

That simple act of thought, 

Well, why even bother ?. 

I’m sure it will come to nought. 

Just re-print a story, 

Who cares if it is true ?. 

Why bother to check any facts ?

Or argue with the view, 

Claim biased opinion, 

Is accurate and fair, 

And if opposites do the same, 

Call them liars, bare,

But you cannot always be right, 

In your blinkered state, 

The truth is often in between, 

If given its fair weight, 

But sadly you can’t see it, 

So promote and urge support, 

Demand our blind obedience, 

Bear hate towards the sort, 

Who argue for restraint and sense, 

Reasoned opinion said, 

You call them names and troll them, 

At times you wish them dead, 

And all because their thinking, 

Is different from yours, 

There is no coherent talking, 

Just incoherent roars, 

And sadly this has worn me out, 

Your hatred and your bile, 

You’ve hurt me by your words and deeds, 

So I must leave awhile, 

I’m tired of being shouted down,

Ignored, called names and worse,

I’m tired of feeling I don’t count,

It’s just become a curse,

I’m hurt, I’m tired and lonely,

Exhausted, feel abused,

So, now it’s goodbye Twitter,

So I’ll be no longer, used.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You don’t know me…

I am but a stranger, 

He said, 

You don’t know me, 

But I know you, 

I know you so well, 

I have watched you, 

I have heard you, 

The lamentations in the night, 

The silent cry for help, 

When nobody has been there, 

I have. 

I have heard your desperation, 

Your pitiful cries, 

Your wailing and your prayers. 

I have seen you, 

The knife in your hands, 

The cutting, 

The blood, 

Flowing from self-inflicted wounds, 

I have seen the pain, 

The need, 

That consuming desire, 

To know that you are alive. 

I have seen, 

The bloodied fist, 

Hammered into wall, 

The bleeding knuckles, 

Bruised and torn. 

I have seen and I have heard, 

Everything. 

Who are you ?, I whisper. 

Don’t you know me ?. 

The stranger replies, 

For I am you, 

I was there, 

I cried with you, 

I felt your pain, 

I could not help, 

But I was there. 

And I always will be.