You can do…

You can do, 

Anything, 

They said. 

But its not true. 

They built me up. 

But my foundations

Are weak.

On shifting sands I crumble. 

You can be,

Anything, 

They said.

But its not true. 

Years of Failure,

Scars, 

Physical,

Emotional,

Burned like brands, 

Thrust into the psyche. 

Self esteem, 

That fragile thing, 

Splinters at slightest touch.

Just be you, they said,

But behind the mask,

Identity lost,

Who am I,

I cried,

But all I heard,

Was laughter,

In return.

We love you,

They cried,

But I could not,

Did not,

Believe,

For their love,

Was only,

On their terms.

You can do,

Anything,

They said,

But the truth,

Was that I could do naught,

For I did not know,

What to do.

South of Heaven

Did you see me south of heaven,

As I walked the dusty road,

Memories in my backpack,

All adding to my load,

Did you see me north of hell, my love,

As I travelled far and wide,

A future smaller than my past,

The present by my side.

Did you find me east of nowhere,

At the motel with no name,

Where anonymous I stayed there once,

Room 12, to hide my shame,

Did you find me west of everywhere,

In circles I did tread,

Afraid to stray from beaten path,

Too much of life to dread.

Did you see me anywhere at all,

Did our paths once cross,

If they did and I ignored you,

Then know I count the loss,

Did you find me at the crossroads,

Where my life was stagnant, ill,

For if you look quite close enough,

Tis there you find me still,

I’ve been in all directions,

Neath sky of grey and blue,

Neath storm of rain and lightning,

Monsoon to soak me through,

Neath snow clouds in the winter,

Through breeze and howling gale,

In desert amidst parched red sands,

In all I’ve been to fail,

And as the years they pass me,

My future still unclear,

There’s only one certainty in life,

And that is you my dear.

Wherever my life takes me,

Whatever tis I do,

The beauty of it all is clear,

I’m coming home to you.