Stop policing my diagnosis!

I’m sad. I’m sad I have to write this. I shouldn’t have to write this.

But I do, because the Autistic Community has decided that I cannot refer to MY diagnosis as Aspergers.

Yeah, you read that right. The community, (insert hollow laugh here) is policing My diagnosis.

Self-appointed guardians and leaders have decided that my diagnosis isn’t one that should be mentioned. No, I must only refer to myself as Autistic because using the term ‘Aspergers’ is too terrible to contemplate.

And these self-appointed leaders seem to think I am truly an idiot and that I don’t know the awful connotations associated with using the term ‘Aspergers’. And I do. I am well aware of what he is alleged to have done and his Nazi sympathies. I know, because I’ve read.

But what these leaders fail to recognise is that in amongst the bad, Hans Asperger recognised Aspergers. He recognised what I am. ME. My diagnosis. And yes, whilst the DSM no longer recognises Aspergers as a separate diagnosis, you can’t turn back time and simply rub out people’s identities because of what is known now and modern sensibilities.

But that seems to be the way. Anything distasteful in history must be hidden or renamed or not spoken about for fear it upsets someone or it offends them. Well, be offended! Nothing happens. We all get offended by things but it doesn’t hurt us. We may not like it but that’s tough. It isn’t our job to say that X can’t call herself ‘Trudy’ because it offends us. Or that Y is a Zebra when really it’s a horse because it offends us.

You’re offended because I say my diagnosis was Aspergers? Good, then be offended. It’s nothing to do with you and it doesn’t affect you unless you decide to get up on your high horse and pontificate about it. Which nobody asked you to. You want to be called ‘Autistic’, that’s fine by me. There is no moral outrage here. I don’t care because it DOESN’T AFFECT ME. You see?

So stop it. Stop tell me what I can or cannot use to describe me. Stop invalidating me. Stop telling me how angry it makes you when the NT community polices us and realise that is exactly what you are doing.

I shouldn’t have to write this. I really thought we were better.

Look how wrong I was.

I keep forgetting!

I keep forgetting to blog.

Even when I get a reminder, I forget to do it.

Perhaps that is the ADHD brain doing it’s stuff or perhaps I am merely too lazy to pick up my finger and type in a few words. Either way, my apologies.

I must confess to a certain lack of desire as well, primarily because I don’t know what to blog about these days unless it’s the continuing saga of my health problems which, I am sure, nobody actually wants to read about.

If we were travelling then I might have inspiration, or if there was something good happening to report on, but regrettably we, like many others, find ourselves just struggling along, bumping along the path, getting by, without much light at the end of the tunnel.

The last three years have been hard for so many of us and those years have definitely reduced my interest in so many things. My love of Egyptology has waned, my desire to travel is diminished, my interest in reading is non-existent and I read a quarter of a book now and then just give it up, unable to complete the task.

It’s frustrating, it’s infuriating and it’s a continuing cycle of pain that’s inflicted on me. Trust me, I have tried to break free but nothing seems to work.

I will try to blog. I will try to find things to blog about. I will. Honest.

But I might forget.